*A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, "When i get to heaven I will ask Jonah."

The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"

The little girl replied, "Then you ask him?"

One night a guy & a girl were
driving home from the movies. The boy sensed there was
something wrong because of the painful silence they shared between them
that night. The girl then asked the boy to pull over
because she wanted to talk. She told him that her
feelings had changed & that it was time to move on.
A silent tear slid down his cheek as he
slowly reached into his pocket & passed her a folded note.
At that moment, a drunk driver was speeding down
that very same street. He swerved
right into the drivers seat, killing the boy.
Miraculously, the girl survived. Remembering the note, she
pulled it out & read it.
"Without your love, I would die."

Here are a few reasons why guys like girls:
1. They will always smell good even if its just shampoo
2. The way their heads always find the right spot on our shoulder
3. How cute they look when they sleep
4. The ease in which they fit into our arms
5. The way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything is right in the world
6. How cute they are when they eat
7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end it makes it all worth while
8. Because they are always warm even when its minus 30 outside
9. The way they look good no matter what they wear
10. The way they fish for compliments even though you both know that you think she's the most beautiful thing on this earth
11. How cute they are when they argue
12. The way her hand always finds yours
13. The way they smile
14. The way you feel when you see their name on the call ID after you just had a big fight
15. The way she says "lets not fight anymore" even though you know that an hour later....
16. The way they kiss when you do something nice for them
17. The way they kiss you when you say "I love you"
18. Actually ... just the way they kiss you...
19. The way they fall into your arms when they cry
20. Then the way they apologize for crying over something that silly
21. The way they hit you and expect it to hurt
22. Then the way they apologize when it does hurt. (even though we don't admit it)!
23. The way they say "I miss you"
24. The way you miss them
25. The way their tears make you want to change the world so that it doesn't hurt her anymore..... Yet regardless if you love them, hate them, wish they would die or know that you would die without them ... it matters not. Because once in your life, whatever they were to the world they become everything to you. When you look them in the eyes, traveling to the depths of their souls and you say a million things without trace of a sound, you know that your own life is inevitable consumed within the rhythmic beatings of her very heart. We love them for a million reasons, No paper would do it justice. It is a thing not of the mind but of the heart. A feeling. Only felt.

Wait for the guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot,who calls you back when you hang up on him,who will stay awake just to watch you sleep,wait for the guy who wants to show you off to all of his friends even when you're in you're sweats,who holds you're hand in front of his friends,wait for the for the one who is constanly reminding you how much he cares for you even though everyone else can see it.

Some ?s to ponder while I am away....
Why can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
Isn't it scary that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done?
I will leave you to ponder...

Near to the door
he paused to stand
as he took his class ring
off her hand
all who were watching
did not speak as a silent tear
ran down his cheek
and through his mind
the memories ran
of the moments they walked
and ran in the sand hand and hand
but now her eyes were so terrible cold
for he would never again
have her to hold
they watched in silence
as he bent near
and whispered the words..
"I LOVE YOU" in her ear
he touched her face and started to cry
as he put on his ring and wanted to die
and just then the wind began to blow
as they lowered her casket
into the snow....
this is what happens
to man alive.....
when friends let friends....
drink and drive.

He handed her a dozen roses 11 real ones + 1 fake one. He told her he would love her til the las rose died.

*all the times we stayed up late*
*talkin on the phone*
*all the times u dried my tears*
*and told me i wuzent alone*

*all the times you held me close*
*under the night sky*
*all the times you saved my life*
*just after I wanted to die*

*all the times you broke my heart*
*and you didnt have a clue*
*all the times i cried myself to sleep*
*and for once there was nothing yo could do*

*and now theres nothing you can say*
*to heal my broken heart*
*now i feel like dying*
*now i fell apart*

*so why do I still love you?*
*boy i have no clue*
cuz every time i fall asleep*
*my dreams drift back to you*

There once was a bear& a rabbit that hated each other. One day they found a genie in a lamp who said he would grant them each 3 wishes.The bear went first and he said,"I wish to be the only male bear in this forrest." And he got his wish.
The rabbit said, "I want a motorcycle helmet." And he got his wish.

The bear went up and said, "I wish to be the only male bear in the U.S. and all the rest were female." And he got his wish.

The rabbit said, "I wish I had a motorcycle to go w/ that helmet." And he got his wish.

The bear said, "I wish I was the only male bear in the world, and all the rest were females." And he got his wish.

Then It was the rabbit's turn, and he said, "I wish that bear was gay."

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As ooposed to what? Outer space?)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)


On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(what else were you supposed to do with them?)

When a girl bumps into your arm while walking she wants you to hold her hand When she wants a hug she will just stand there When u break a girls heart, she still feels it when you run into each other 3 years later When a girl is quiet, millions of things are running through her mind. When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply. When a girl looks at you with eyes full of questions, she is wondering how long you will be around. When a girl answers, "I'm fine, " after a few seconds, she is not at all fine. When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are so wonderful. When a girl lays her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be hers forever. When a girl says that she can't live without you, she has made up her mind that you are her future. When a girl says, "I miss you, " no one in this world can miss you more than that GIVE HER ONE OF YOUR T-SHIRTS TO SLEEP IN. LET HER MESS WITH Y0UR HAIR. TICKLE HER EVEN WHEN SHE SAYS ST0P. STAY UP WITH HER ALL NIGHT WHEN SHES SICK. LET HER TAKE ALL THE PH0T0S 0F Y0U SHE WANTS! KISS HER IN THE RAIN!

If a kiss were a raindrop, I'd send you showers. If hugs were a second, I'd send you hours. If smiles were water, I'd send you the sea. If love was a person, I'd send you me.

A girl asked a boy if she was pretty and the boy said no. She then asked if he wanted to be with her forever and he said no. Finally, she asked him if he would cry if she walked away and again he replied no. The girl had heard enough and she went to leave. The boy grabbed her arm and said "You are not pretty, you are beautiful. I do not want to be with you forever, I need to be with you forever. And if you walked away I would not cry, I'd die

Your friends will wipe your tears after a boy rejects you. My friends will go up to him and say "It's because you're gay, isn't it?

*..Wait for the boy who will make an ordinary moment seem magical, the kinda boy who brings out the best in you and makes you wanna be a better person. wait for the boy who will be your best friend, who will drop everything to be with you at any time no matter what the circumstances. wait for the boy who makes you smile like no one else, and when he smiles, you know he needs you. wait for the boy who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats and have no make-up on, but appreciates it when you get dolled up for him...and most of all, wait for the boy who will put you at the center of his universe, because that's where you belong ..*